Nappily Ever After.

Fun title eh? Wish I could say I made it up.

Well jiggle my booty and call me Deborah... Let's get started!

The above title is the name of a movie that recently came out on Netflix. It is adapted from the book written by Trisha R. Thomas. I really liked it for many reasons, the main reason being that the premise for it was just so simple... yet so beautiful. It tells the story of an African-American woman whose life revolves heavily around her hair and what lengths she and her mother went to have hair more accepted by today's beauty standard.

It left me thinking... (and it made me want to low-key rock a shaved head ;)

*MINOR SPOILER ALERT but not really you'll be fine...* In the movie, it begins with a woman named Violet describing a time when her mother spent so much time brushing her hair with a hot comb (like... she literally sticks this comb into a burning hot element on the stove) and brushes Violet's hair. The hot comb acts as an iron which straightens her hair pretty much burning her scalp in the process. They then go to a public pool where a young boy dares Violet to jump in the pool and have a breath-holding competition. Her mother is sitting in a nearby lawn chair yelling at her to not even think about jumping in the pool. She doesn't listen and jumps in anyway. When she came back up, her natural "nappy" hair looked like a "Chia pet" according to the boy and these two petty twin girls sitting by the pool. Everyone laughed at her, her mom whisked her away from the pool and scolded her in the car for ruining her beautiful hair. The rest of the movie is a classic transformational story and shows Violets journey as she discovers what beauty truly is to her.

At the start of the movie, Violet feels that she's more beautiful when she has her hair straightened, relaxed or is wearing a long straight weave much like the women in the ad campaigns her company creates. Then... some stuff happens... she shaves her head in a drunken rage... yadda yadda yadda and well... just watch it, it's great.

This movie struck a chord in me because, though I am only half-black I was born with coarse curly hair that could sometimes be described as "nappy" (Nappy being a derogatory term for the hair of African American people, tightly coiled or "frizzy")

(I am 12 in this photo... who doesn't love humble beginnings?)

I really disliked having curly hair because it made me stand out. I spent years straightening it (Before I was even old enough to have a straightening iron I started using an actual clothing iron as my sister had taught me) and I started putting heat to my hair for any sort of occasion... shows, parties, school, just for fun. I even bought hair extensions for when I really wanted to go all out

Because like Violet, I felt like I wasn't as pretty as all my white friends with their long straight hair. Of course, the act of putting constant heat on your hair makes it brittle, dry and split... found that out the hard way.

It's unfortunate but true that in this world, black woman are pressured to do really unhealthy things (the harshest being relaxing it which I've never tried before) to their hair in order to fit in with the mainstream. We are told our natural hair doesn't fit in with the traditional standards of beauty... or worse... we get asked if people can touch it but for future reference...

"NO BISH, YOU CANNOT TOUCH MY HAIR." - Every black girl, ever.

(Imagine me clapping out every single one of those syllables)

Wanna feel super angry today?

Look what happens when you search "Professional hairstyles for the workplace:"

Notice a common theme? Now... look what happens when you search: "Unprofessional hairstyles for the workplace"

Minus the man with "Sausage" shaved in his hair as well as a couple other wildcards thrown in there... you'll notice another theme in the above 3 photos.

Angry yet? Good.

As a woman of colour I usually don't have the luxury of getting to roll out of bed and go about my day without having done anything to slay the beast on top of my head. I always envied the folks who could run a brush through it a couple times and be on their merry way. If I tried that on my unwashed hair... the brush wouldn't make it out alive.

("AAH! She IS a-GORGEOUS!!")

I'm really not trying to make this a post about hair envy and how I wish I had "white person hair." In fact, like Violet at the end of the movie, I adore having curly hair now. I started embracing it about 1-2 years ago, I have put the hair straightener down and my hair has never been healthier and I couldn't be happier with having the pleasure of having hair that is interesting. I think it's time we stand up for women rocking the hair they were born with. Nappy-ness and all.

To all my friends out there who sometimes wake up looking like this...

You are beautiful and don't ever let any hooligans tell you otherwise... Even if you break their brush.

We shall live Nappily Ever After.

Until next time mi amigos.